Posts by choosing life

5

The dread annual family visit

by sass_my_frass in

jw
friends

we're on our way to visit the family tonight (they're a five-hour flight away, it's a good way to live.

) i love my grandparents, and they're not jws, and they hate all this rubbish and i am only going over there to spend time with them, as we don't really know how much they have left.

since i was there a year ago there has been no progress with my jw parents - they're still depressed and disappointed in me, and i know they always will be.

choosing life

Good luck to you. I hope your family is a little less crazy than mine.

94

I need a girlfriend

by Junction-Guy in

jw
friends

after this past trip to ohio, i have become painfully more aware of how alone i am.

i miss having someone to share my life with.. .

im almost to the point of dating again, yet i have so many obstacles to overcome.. .

Like a few others on here, I don't see where you could find a woman that could be all the things you listed. If you are not gay, then why do you want a bi-sexual woman? And what gay or bi-sexual woman would be conservative and vote Republican? Republicans or conservatives hate gays. It tends to be part of what they run against in public office.

Maybe Amanda would be kind enough to let you know why your first marriage didn't work from her point of view? That might be helpful if you're still in touch. Otherwise, I think a counselor is a good idea before you get into any more relationships that don't work out because of personal confusion.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

56

BirthdaysSimple Deconstruction of the JW Rationale

by AuldSoul in

to deconstruct the jw rationale surrounding birthdays, a few simple guidelines should be followed.. (1): don't waste any energy trying to convince a jw that birthdays are not pagan, if they suggest that, readily agree.

whether or not the celebrations are pagan turns out to be a non-issue that distracts from the main point.. (2): stay focused on the fact that jws disfellowship people for celebrating birthdays.. (3): stress the point that there should always be clear scriptural reason for disfellowshipping someone.

ask them often throughout the discussion whether this is the case, get them to reinforce this need to themselves.. (4): remember, the first goal is deconstructing their rationale, not giving them a new rationale, not convincing them that celebrating birthdays is a good thing.. once you have these well in mind, the deconstruction can begin.. jw rationale, in brief:.

choosing life

Hey Auld Soul,

They were just asking where you had been. You make a good point. I remember they use certain passages in the Bible to point to Dfd offensives. Birthdays certainly don't fit into any of them. Sounds like good reasoning,but I think their minds are closed, unfortunately.

4

Am I wishful thinking?

by lavendar in

jw
friends

do you think there are more witnesses getting out of the wts than ever before?

i'd like to think so, cause that gives me hope for our son.

(he's married to a jw and is slowly being brainwashed).

choosing life

Lavender,

There is a slow decline in people entering and a big exit through the back door. That may not matter to your son, though. The Witnesses will just use it as a sign that the end is near. They manage to do this no matter what happens.

Best thing you can do is continue to show him unconditional love and place a well thought out comment from time to time to try and reach his heart. Is he pretty much won over by their beliefs now? If so, they have taught him that Satan will try to stop him by using his family to weaken his faith. They get you coming and going. That's what makes them a cult.

Stay as close as you can to your son and he will know you are always there for him. I don't remember if you have been pointed toward the book, Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan. He is an exit counselor and went through the cult experience personally so he can see it from both sides.

Unfortunately, there may be nothing you can do at present. Don't give up hope though. Many of us woke up after 30 years or more. Each person has to be ready to see the things that they are blinding themselves to at present. It may take a tremendous amount of patience on your part. He is lucky to have such a loving mother.

70

Most Ex-JWs R Not Active in the Anti-JW Community. Maybe 1%? Any thoughts?

by Seeker4 in

yesterday i called a family on the west coast that were in my congregation 18 years ago.

between parents, kids and marriage partners, there were six of them who had been witnesses.

they have all faded, and have had nothing to do with the witnesses for at least 15 year or more.. yet, none of them is in any way active even in looking at the ex-jw sites online.

choosing life

Seeker 4,

You seem like a leader, someone who tends to get involved with what concerns you. You are obviously intelligent and very articulate too. Having all these qualities, I can see why it would be hard for you to not get involved.

On the other hand, I think a large amount of the ones who leave were fringe witnesses. They liked the promise of paradise, but never did much to get involved. A lot more had the religion forced on them as children. These people, unfortunately, often still believe in at least some of what the jws teach, so don't care to actively oppose them. I have always thought a walk away believer is in the saddest position of all.

Many on here are trying to keep their family relationships intact to a point, so don't go any further than here. Maybe I am wrong, but I see a slow fading in the congregations around me and a weariness of many of those still in. This is what drives most of the recent decisions from the society.

I appreciate what those who came before me have done to pave the way. Sometimes I think leaving them guessing is also an effective way to make them think about things. If they are not able to pigeon hole you into a neat little classification, it rather disturbs them. I see a lot of witnesses around town and exchange greetings with them. I can always see the burning question in their eyes about why I left, but they don't ask and I don't tell. If someone came to me and truly wanted to know about what I've learned, I would be glad to talk with them.

13

You chance to be heard!

by pratt1 in

here's the scenrio:.

you have the captive audience of all the witlesses that you have associated with and loved in the past (including family members) but now shun you, for 5 minutes.. you most chose one and only one topic to proved that their religion is false and not based on love.. 1. who would you pick to be part of this audience?.

2. what topic would you choose to discuss?

choosing life

The subject would have to be the blood issue. I would like everyone to be there that I knew as a dub. I would also like the hospital liason committee members to be there. I want them to be able to have the opportunity to refute any errors in my presentation, which they could not. This should be enough to show the ones who are receptive that the doctrine is morally corrupt and total nonsense. The dubs always think these guys know something they don't and so trust their advice.

The only problem I see is your time limit. 5 minutes is barely enough time to scratch the surface of a good discussion and I believe people should be able to ask any questions that would help them to understand. Asking questions is the key to truly understanding any subject.

26

Is Your Family Crazy?

by choosing life in

i have been trying to reconnect with my fleshly family for over a year now, since i left the jws.

for some reason, i find it extremely difficult.

i don't find them to be very giving or caring people.

choosing life

I have been trying to reconnect with my fleshly family for over a year now, since I left the jws. For some reason, I find it extremely difficult. I don't find them to be very giving or caring people. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but something just doesn't click.

My family is pretty crazy at times. They love to talk about each other, in a gossipy kind of way. One sibling won't talk to another and most of the family has been pulled into taking sides. I have tried to stay neutral, but they just won't accept that. I am constantly pressured into taking sides.

There are nieces and nephews that are invoved with hard drugs, stealing and who knows what else! They have been in and out of prison. The parents always bail them out, and so on it goes. The problem is, my witness family uses this to say that the society is right and "worldly" people are all bad.

There was a major crisis last night that I can't give details on because of being a fader (I am beginning to hate that word). I left and havn't talked to any of them since. I think I will just have to pull back some and look elsewhere for companionship. I don't know what happened to the family I knew 30 years ago, before becoming a jw. Sometimes I think I have been tainted by the wall I put up for so many years.

Is anyone else's family just plain crazy?

10

On my own now

by dazednotconfused in

jw
friends

hi everyone - i have posted only a couple times here but felt the urge to let loose a little bit today.

i am 41 years old, and after being brainwashed for the last 35 years, i can no longer continue as a jw - i have not been inside a kingdom hall in over a year, my friends and family have shunned me and i have very few associates outside of "the truth".. now i am not here to cry and feel sorry for myself.

but i would like to hear from some who are/were in a similar situation.

choosing life

When I left "the truth", I felt like I had returned to the age I was when I joined. I was 19 when I joined, so I can't imagine exiting after being in since the age of 6. It does tend to even out after a while. It is just so long since you have thought for yourself without taking into consideration what the society says. If you were 6, you never really had much opportunity to think things through for yourself ever.

Best way to keep evolving is to read and experience many points of view. Think of it as an adventure rather than a burden. Don't try to figure out all the big questions in life, just experience life as it is, pure and full of beautiful experiences. Try not to judge people and experiences, just observe quietly.

Wishing you the best in your new journey. Sincerely, Choosing life

12

Where is AuldSoul???

by IronClaw in

jw
friends

does anyone know anything about auldsoul?

i have been so busy the last few months that i hardly have time to play on my pc.

i just did a post history on him and see he hasn't posted since early april.

choosing life

I found someone posting by that name on a Christian forum. Don't know if it was him.

26

Should Jehovahs Witnesses Be Held Responsible For Shunning?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

another perspective:should jehovahs witnesses be held responsible for shunning?looking back to the time of which when i was one of jehovahs witnesses .

i recall my viewpoint about apostatesi despised them thoroughly.

thewatchtower called for shunning all of those who rejected gods .

choosing life

Yes, we are all responsible for our actions and words. I have only had 1 person close to me Dfd and I didn't stop talking to him, but I did not closely associate with him and I have made amends since then.

I don't buy the idea that if you joined their club, they have a right to throw you out and shun you. That is what the WTS would like us to believe. and there is obviously mind control involved because we don't see this happening by choice.

I sometimes wonder how many dead bodies of friends and loved ones a person will walk over to get to their "paradise".

I hope the tide turns as Journey On mentioned about scientologists making headway on lawsuits. As with everything else, it will take legal sanctions and the loss of money to bring about any changes.